KEITH GRIEF

Floyd’s final frontier…

It seems horribly cruel that Keith Floyd’s TV swansong was presided over by celebrity irritant Keith Allen. Mere minutes before the hour-long Channel 4 show screened on Monday night, medics were called to tend for the irascible TV chef and bow-tied bon viveur, who died of a heart attack, aged 65, waiting for it to start. Flamboyant (read: mad) seems to be the overused buzzword in most affectionate newspaper obits to surface, though Keith Meets Keith found the anarchic kitchen head in a much darker place. Ravaged by the bottle and frequently disposed to an almost crippling melancholy, he was a husk of his former ebullient self; summarily dismissing his fellow television cooks as “a bunch of clots”, though with the expletive definitely not deleted.

Still, one suspects Floyd really didn’t give a poached fig for anyone else’s opinion. In a life that careered from journalism to the army to antique dealing and eventually the kitchen and several of his own restaurants, before his TV debut – read more here – Floyd was high octane and hell-bent on sozzled destruction from the get-go; a serial bankrupt and carousing divorcee whose shambles of a personal life belied his good humour behind the stove.

ON LOCATION

And it was his maverick take on the once stuffy craft of TV cookery that will resonate long after his passing. Realised in tandem with BBC producer David Pritchard, their approach for his first series Floyd On Fish in 1985 was refreshingly simple. “We just did our own thing at locations that seemed appropriate: a Cornish coastline, on a Devon trawler, in the pissing rain, or in the howling wind, or in the sunshine,” writes Floyd in his final autobiography Stirred But Not Shaken, published in October. “There were no rehearsals and no scripts and everything was done in one take – that’s how I came to fill in the pauses while I thought what to say next by having a glug of wine.” It also pioneered his trademark joshing with cameraman Clive, who was forever filming Floyd while the chef was tetchily directing the lens back to the food.

Pritchard and Floyd had a major communication breakdown while filming the 1989 series Floyd’s American Pie – not helped by a depressed Floyd being on a whiskey kick – communicating only via notes before a tumultuous bust-up. And though Floyd would go on to film many further series, including far-flung efforts in Australia, Africa and India (and pen over 30 cookbooks), the televisual chemistry was never quite as ripe. Pritchard also featured in Keith Meets Keith – talking about their early days with great affection, and it’s late consolation they patched up their differences prior to his passing.

SCREEN BITES

Floyd’s final televised words may have disparaged modern TV chefs as “Arseholes… assembling bits of gastronomic Lego without the faintest idea where they fucking come from,” yet rather than dwell on his disaffection his memory is better served by reliving his on-screen magic. Here’s a handful of good reasons – just click the numbered links to view – the galloping Stranglers fanatic knocked pretenders like Stein, Rhodes and Oliver into a cocked hat:

1. Translating his contretemps with a female French cook: “Apparently she doesn’t want to taste it because the way I cooked it is going to be awful… In brief, it’s absolute rubbish!”

2. Kitchen safety for viewers in Scotland: “No names, no pack drill, but Clive, a big fat close-up please… No, not to me, the chip pan!”

3. Floyd cooks up Portuguese Man Of War after the BBC helicopter wreaked havoc. “A quick slurp of what made the navy famous… and over to the frying pan.”

4. Commentating on the world’s largest paella: “First of all put some olive oil, about five gallons, into a large pan…”

5. Cooking fish stew for Dan Luger and Joe Roff: “Dan, you’re water boy today so pour out some rosé, would you, thank you very much. Mine first!”

THE LAST SUPPER

Pleasingly, Floyd didn’t shuttle into eternity without a decent final feed. Earlier on September 14^th he dined with long-time friend Celia Martin at the Hix Oyster & Fish House, Lyme Regis, enjoying oysters with potted shrimp and toast, partridge for his main, finishing with Perry jelly – pear cider made into jelly with other fruits. The three courses were washed down with a champagne cocktail, a glass of Pouilly Vinzelles 2006 white Burgundy, and a few glasses of Nature Perrin and Fils Cotes du Rhone 2007 red wine. Way to go. Chin chin!